The One With Ross' Ex-wife
by Cryptidneet
Summary: Did he just knock on her door? Chandler feels nauseas as the panic settles in. He could probably take off running right now and make it around the corner and out of sight before- "Chandler?" OR, Chandler gets advice from someone unexpected
1. The One With Ross' Ex-wife

wow ! this is my very first fanfic (ever) so i'm a little nervous posting this! :(

it might be a little rushed and it's not beta'd so they're might be some mistakes but go easy on me lol

im a huge friends fan and chandler is my favorite so im probably gonna project onto him a little oops

* * *

In his 27 years of life, Chandler Bing has made many bad choices, but this one may take the cake.

He's facing a closed door in an unfamiliar apartment complex, regretting nearly every impulse that brought him here.

He should be at home right now. He left work a little earlier then normal (in his defense, he really doesn't feel well), and on his walk home, took a few different turns and now he's having a staring contest with a door.

He's sure he's about to experience one of the awkwardest conversations of his life, and that's really saying something for him.

Sure, she went to college with him and sure, he was the best man at her wedding but Chandler doesn't consider her anything more then maybe a close acquaintance. He can't remember ever spending any time alone with her, not even in college.

 _Knock, knock, knock_ -

Wait.

Did he just _knock_ on her door?

Chandler feels nauseas as the panic settles in. He could probably take off running right now and make it around the corner and out of sight before-

"Chandler?"

Too late.

"Chandler, are you okay?" Shit.

He's suddenly not sure he can form a coherent sentence as he meets the gaze of a concerned looking Carol Willick. A million excuses run through his head but he can't find one good enough to explain his unexpected visit. Chandler knows he doesn't look good, he's sweaty, his hands are shaking and the hour of sleep he got last night sure isn't helping the bags under his eyes.

"N-no. Sorry, I guess I took a wrong turn on my way home! I'll just-I'll leave, sorry I-" Chandler stutters, backing away and feeling sicker by the second.

"Chandler wait! It's ok." She takes his hand and he flinches, painfully aware of how sweaty his palms are. "Come inside. It's fine, really."

She pulls him into the apartment and the nausea rises as he notices the worry etched in her face.

But then again, why wouldn't she be worried? It's not everyday your ex-husband's best friend shows up shaking on your doorstep. Damn, he really _is_ pathetic.

"Here sit down, I'll get you a glass of water." She guides him to the couch before moving to the kitchen.

"Where are Susan and Ben?" Chandler asks when she returns. She hands him a glass of tap water and he takes it in both hands.

"Susan wanted to let me rest so she took Ben out for the afternoon. She should be back soon."

 _Oh._

"Oh. Sorry, I didn't know you were resting, I can leave-" He moves to get up but she places a hand on his shoulder and pushes him back down to the coach.

"Chandler, it's fine. I couldn't sleep anyway." He twists his hands in his lap and she continues. "Is everything okay, though? You look… upset."

"This is how I always look," Chandler makes an effort to joke but it falls flat. "I am fine though. I'm just… dealing with things."

"Anything I can help with? You _did_ come to my house."

"Yeah I just-… I wanted to ask you something." He might as well get this over with.

Carol nods patiently and waits for him to figure out how exactly he wants to phrase this. The silence is awkward but she doesn't pressure him to hurry and for that, Chandler is thankful.

He clears his throat.

"Sorry, this isn't easy for me."

"Take your time," She smiles and Chandler feels a little better.

"How did you… know?" Carol gazes at him questioningly so he tries again. "When did you know that you were… y'know… _a lesbian?"_

He whispers the last word, like it's a secret between the two of them.

She laughs softly and her smile is understanding and for the first time all day, Chandler doesn't feel like the world is falling down around him. She pauses to think and this silence is far more comforting then the last one.

"I think I always knew, but I didn't want to be so I wasn't." Now it's Chandler's turn to be confused but before he can say anything, Carol continues.

"I was in high school when I started having those kind of thoughts about girls, but my parents were against that kind of lifestyle so I suppressed those thoughts to keep them happy." Carol says, gazing down at her hands

"I'm sure that wasn't easy."

"It wasn't. I hated it- pretending to be someone I wasn't. When I got to college I started dating Ross and he was so passionate about us and my parents loved him so I let myself get caught up in it. It was fun but it wasn't what I wanted."

"Did you ever… love Ross?" Chandler asks cautiously. It's a heavy question, but he feels like he has to know.

"I did, but not the way he loved me. I didn't mean to hurt him, Chandler. Ross is a great guy but I met Susan and she gave me everything Ross couldn't. She was everything I wanted but couldn't have." She sounds desperate and Chandler's heart clenches for her.

He had no idea Carol was hurt by this as much as Ross. He'd never heard her side of the story before.

"I fell in love with her and it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Admitting it to myself that I was in love with a woman, and admitting it to Ross." Her voice shakes and the panic returns. Chandler's never been good with dealing with crying women.

"He looked so hurt when I told him." Carol says, "But I don't regret it- any of it. Susan has made me happier then I've ever been."

A drop of water lands on his hands and Chandler realizes he's also crying. He stares at the drop, startled by his own emotions.

He _never_ cries.

"Chandler, are you alright? I didn't mean to make you sad." Carol says softly, handing him a box of tissues. He sniffs loudly and shakes his head.

"You didn't- it's fine. I'm just-"

"Dealing with stuff?" She finishes for him and he nods, blowing his nose into a tissue. "I know we aren't that close but if you want to tell me anything…"

"I'm in a pretty similar situation to yours, I think," He says, breathing out a soft laugh. "I've always sorta had these thoughts about guys but… I forced myself to like women to distance myself from my dad"

He breaks off and Carol smiles sympathetically and reaches across to place a comforting hand on his knee. It gives him the strength to keep going.

"My father left when I was nine years old, to be gay and open an all-male burlesque, and I swore then I would be nothing like him. But I have this…"

"Quality?" Carol says and Chandler glares half-heartedly at her.

"Sure- I have this quality and I have these thoughts about this guy and I don't know what to do with them." He stands up and now that he's talking, he can't shut up. Every single repressed thought and feeling is bubbling to the surface and his mouth is overflowing with words.

"What would my mom say? Would she think I'm like my dad? What about my friends? They all think I'm straight, and what would _he_ say? God, he'd hate me if he ever found out! He's so important to me, it'd kill me if I lost him."

Chandler can't stop. He's horrible with expressing himself but he finds it's easier to talk to someone who barely knows him. He wouldn't even dream of telling his friends something like this.

"I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't focus! And it's making me sick, it's actually making me sick! I've never liked someone so much he makes me _sick_! And it's not like I can _avoid_ him, I see him everyday!" He shouts, throwing his hands to his hair and fisting it in frustration.

"Chandler, calm down," Carol stands up and gently pulls his hands down before he can hurt himself. "It's okay."

Her voice brings him back and Chandler lets her guide him back down to the couch.

"I'm sorry," His voice cracks from yelling and he's started sweating again.

"Don't apologize," She rubs her thumb over his knuckles comfortingly and Chandler focuses on stopping his hands from trembling.

It's quiet again and it gives him time to feel embarrassed about spilling his heart to his best friend's ex-wife.

"Who is it?" Carol's voice breaks the silence and Chandler takes a deep breath before answering this.

"Joey."

Admitting is easier then he thought it would be. Admitting the name of the man who's tormented his thoughts, sent him into a panicked frenzy, made him physically ill and been the source of his misery (and joy) for the past few months, is easier then he thought it would be.

It's like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders and he feels lighter all of a sudden.

Carol thinks for a minute, and Chandler assumes she's trying to put a face to the name.

"He's your roommate, right? The actor?" She asks, and Chandler nods.

"I can't stop thinking about him. I've never been in love before but I think- I think I could love him, or… maybe I already do."

"Is he…?"

"He's straight."

Admitting _that_ brings the weight right back again.

"You should still tell him," Carol says, and he's sure it's good advice but Chandler still shakes his head.

"No. He's my best friend, I don't want risk what we have," He says. "I'd rather feel like this then lose him forever."

Carol nods and continues to rub his knuckles.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I really needed someone to talk to, my friend's wouldn't understand," Chandler smiles. "You were the only person I could think to go to. Thank you."

Carol smiles back at him and they both stand.

"I still think you should tell him."

"I'll think about it. Thanks though," Chandler mutters.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about, Chandler," She pulls him into a hug and Chandler relaxes into it. He's the first to admit that he loves a good hug and Carol gives a _good_ hug.

They separate and move to the door, and begin saying their goodbyes.

"We should do this again, here's my number," Carol says, handing him a slip of paper. Chandler pockets it with a smile.

"This is totally gonna kill Ross! But I definitely will though- Hey! We should do lunch sometime! Bring Susan and Ben too!" Chandler says.

He pulls the door open and suddenly finds himself face to face with Susan, who's carrying Ben on her hip. She stares at the two of them, her hand still hovering near the doorknob and a surprised look on her face.

"Susan! You remember Chandler, right? He's one of Ross' friends," Carol says, taking Ben from Susan's arms.

"Yeah," She says cautiously, "What's he doing here?"

"I'm actually leaving now, but it was good to see you Susan! Thanks again Carol!" Chandler says, moving past her and walking down the hallway as Susan offers a confused goodbye and Carol calls out a 'good luck'!

—

The next morning, Chandler wakes up feeling exponentially better then he has in the past few months. He can't remember the last time he slept this well.

He pulls on his robe and walks into the living as Joey leaves his own room.

"Hey!" He says, when he sees Chandler, "I was gonna head over to Monica's for breakfast, you comin'?"

"Yeah man, totally!" Chandler grins as they walk across the hall and for the things feel _okay_ for once.

They sit down next to each other as Monica finishes up the eggs and Chandler silently decides to Joey how he feels. Maybe not today or even tomorrow but someday resolves to get this weight off his chest.

* * *

im not gonna lie this ending is shit so i'll probably visit this again and either fix the ending or give it a second chapter idk ? :-)

i have like 2 other chandler centric fanfics started tho so hopefully i can get those up pretty soon! hope y'all liked it?


	2. TOW Chandler Can't Catch A Break

"Chandler, dude, you're really freakin' me out," Joey says from the barcalounger while Chandler paces anxiously in front of him.

"I know, just— give me a second. This isn't easy," Chandler mutters, running his hand through his hair. Joey furrows his brow and looks uneasy.

"Chandler, you'd tell me if somethin' was wrong, right?" Oh god, does Joey think he'd dying or something?

"Yeah!" Chandler says, a little too quickly. "I'm fine! It's just… Joey, I think— I think you're… swell."

 _What the fuck?_

Did he really just call Joey swell? Does anyone even use that word anymore?

"Thanks…?" Joey looks beyond confused and Chandler can't blame him at all.

"Wait! Forget I said that! Can I start over?" He tries to backtrack but the damage is already done. "I— I meant… uh…." He babbles on for about 30 more seconds before Joey puts an end to this tragically embarrassing scene.

"Chandler listen, this has been great and all but I really gotta get to this audition," He says with a nervous smile while moving to stand. Chandler's pretty sure he might actually die. He really needs to get his shit together and get this horrible secret off his chest.

It's now or never.

"I love you!" He blurts out and Joey stops in his tracks. Slowly, he turns around so they're facing, keeping his expression guarded.

"You…love me?" His voice is barely above a whisper and if Chandler was unsure before, now he definitely knows he's going to die; he needs to get out of there _now_.

"Well I hope your audition goes well have a good day bye Joe!" Chandler's already halfway to his room before he finishes the sentence, ignoring Joey's cry of 'Chandler wait!' . Once inside the safety of his bedroom, he slams the door shut and locks it, his heart pounding in his chest.

He can hear Joey wiggling the doorknob, knocking on the door and calling out his name, but theres no way in hell Chandler's facing him now. He'll willingly starve to death in here if it means he'll never have to see his roommate again.

Carefully, he presses his back against the door and slides down into a sitting position, hanging his head between his knees. His eyes burn but he blinks back any unwanted emotions and buries his hands in his hair.

He waits until he hears the sound of the front door close and waits another 20 minutes before peaking his head out to find the apartment empty.

Chandler sighs and stumbles out of his room, all while tossing around the idea of packing his stuff up and moving out before Joey returns from the audition. He's pretty confident he could be out of the country before Joey even knows he's gone.

In the end, Chandler settles for dragging himself over to the girl's apartment, in need of advice and possibly some food. He's about 2 seconds away from walking into the apartment before a very scary thought hits him like a freight train. What if Joey's audition was actually just an excuse to get out of the awkward conversation and he's actually inside the apartment right now, telling Monica and Rachel about Chandler's horrible, horrible confession.

What if Joey's in there right now, telling the girls he never wants to see him again?

He might throw up, right here, in the hallway of his apartment complex.

Chandler takes a shaky breath before knocking nervously on the door; he can't actually remember the last time he knocked before entering the apartment. It takes a few seconds before the door opens and Monica pokes her head out, looking surprised.

"Hey, is Joey here?" He asks before she can say anything.

"No, why? Did you two have a fight?" She asks while opening the door further and allowed Chandler to wander absently into the apartment.

"Something like that," He mutters pathetically, collapsing onto one of the chairs at the kitchen table. Rachel glances at him over the top of the book she's reading.

"What happened?" Monica asks, pulling a YooHoo out of the fridge and handing it to him. He accepts it gratefully and takes a few large drinks out of it to avoid having to speak for a little longer.

"I kinda told himIlovehim," Monica leans forward to hear him better as he ends the sentence with a nearly inaudible mumble.

"Come again?"

"I told him I love him," Chandler buries his face in his arms so he doesn't have to see the girl's reactions.

It doesn't block out the sound of them gasping in shock.

"You what?" Rachel says, springing up from the couch and taking a seat next to him at the table.

"Please don't make me repeat it."

"You love Joey?" Monica says, unbelieving. Chandler can't see their expressions still but he has a pretty good idea of what they look like right now.

"This isn't one of your jokes, right?" Chandler can only assume Rachel's leaning in close, judging from how close her voice is to his ear.

"I've never been more serious in my entire life," He groans, fisting his hair in frustration. Monica gently pulls his hands away before he hurts himself.

"Oh my god, you are serious," Rachel gasps, rubbing his back comfortingly. "How long have you known?"

"A few years," His face is burning and his hands are sweaty but they already know the worst of it, no harm in telling it all.

"What did Joey do?"

"I don't know, I ran away as soon as I told him. He left while I was hiding." It sounds completely pathetic but that about sums up Chandler's life right now anyway.

Monica hums sympathetically and runs calming fingers through his hair. Eventually he lifts his head and faces them; he can tell by the pity in their eyes that he looks like shit.

"What do I do?" His voice breaks but he doesn't have the energy to care right now.

"You need to talk to him," Monica says softly, taking one of his hands. She doesn't react to how sweaty they are and Chandler's thankful for that.

"I don't want to," He whines.

"Honey, I don't think you have a choice," Rachel's voice is sympathetic and Chandler drops his head on the table in misery. "You two are best friends, I'm sure it'll be fine!"

"Or he'll think I'm disgusting and weird and never want to see me again!"

"That won't happen," Monica reassures him. "Give Joey a little more credit than that. You mean as much to him as he means to you."

How are girls always right about these things?

…

Chandler's sitting at his barcalounger when Joey eventually comes home, a little after midnight.

Joey pauses at the front door and stares at his roommate, his expression unreadable.

"I think we need to talk," Chandler says softly, moving to stand. "I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have dropped that on you and then run off but I—"

"Chandler, it's okay."

 _What?_

"What?" He feels like a child under Joey's gaze.

"I said, it's okay."

"… Really? It's okay?" Chandler's pretty sure he must be dreaming because theres no way Joey can be taking this so well.

"Yeah, man. I uh… I thought a lot about what you said earlier and— I might not like you the same way you do but I'm willing to give it a try."

He has to be dreaming. Chandler planned for all kinds of rejections, from forgetting this ever happened and moving on with their lives to never seeing each other again but he definitely hadn't planned for this.

"You— really? You're willing to give me— give us a try?" His voice is about 3 octaves higher than he'd like it to be but it makes Joey smile so he really doesn't care too much.

Suddenly Joey is moving closer to him and before Chandler can even blink, he locked in a kiss with his best friend.

 _Damn_ , Joey's a really good kisser.

They don't break apart until they're both desperate for oxygen and Chandler immediately misses the way Joey felt on his lips. Joey chuckles nervously before speaking.

"That was—"

"Good, that was really good," Chandler finishes breathlessly.

"Yeah," Joey's smile is confident and cool, a complete opposite to the dorky, lopsided grin that Chandler knows is on his face.

He clears his throat before speaking, "So… Dinner tomorrow?" His voice actually cracks, like a teenage boy in the midst of puberty and Chandler cringes; how does he manage to make everything so _awkward_?

"Are you asking me out on a date?" Joey smirks and Chandler flushes all the way to his ears.

"Y—yeah, I think I am," God, could he _be_ any lamer? "Is that… is that okay?"

"Yeah man, that sounds great," Did Joey actually agree to go on a date with him? This must be one of the best dreams he's ever had in his entire life. "Chandler wait— one more thing."

"What is it?"

"How you doin'?"

…

"So let me get this straight, you want us to double date with Ross' ex-wife and her new wife?" Joey's staring incredulously at him but Chandler only shrugs.

"Yeah, I go out to lunch with them all the time," He says like it's not big deal, because it isn't. "Carol's helped me out with a lot of stuff in the past."

"I had no idea!" Joey says, but he doesn't really seemed too opposed to the idea.

It's been nearly 3 months since Chandler's impulsive confession and so far they'd had no major problems. Not much actually changed other than a whole lot more kissing and some… _intimate_ nights together.

"So what do you say?"

"Sure, why not. It might be fun," Joey grins and it's so contagious that Chandler's can't help himself from mirroring his roommates expression.

…

"How about this?" Chandler says, spinning around and showing off the outfit he'd picked out. "Does this say causal double date?"

Monica brings her hand to her chin and looks him up and down before moving towards him.

"Untuck your shirt and you'll be all set," She says as she tugs his shirt out of his pants. She smiles and brushes her hands down his chest to smooth the wrinkles out of the fabric.

"I'm uh— a little worried to be honest," He says as Monica fixes his collar.

"Why? You have lunch with Carol and Susan all the time, you'll be fine," She reassures, stepping back to admire her handiwork.

"I know but what if it's awkward," He whines. "What if Joey says something inappropriate or I get weird and—."

"Relax Chandler," Monica cuts him off, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Joey _will_ probably say something inappropriate and you'll _definitely_ get weird but that's okay because you two have so many more good qualities that outweigh the bad ones."

How is Monica so good at this?

"How did you get so good at calming me down?" He feigns indignation but he can't help the small smile from creeping onto his face.

"It's a natural talent," She jokes, nudging him playfully. They both start and turn to face the door when it opens.

"Hey Chan, you ready?" Suddenly Joey's poking his head into the apartment and Chandler nods while quickly calling out his thanks to Monica as he crosses the room.

"Have fun!" She calls as they disappear out the door together.

…

The double date, surprisingly enough, starts off without a hitch. Joey's naturally charming enough to get along with almost everyone he meets and after 20 minutes of talking with Carol and Susan, Chandler's not really even sure what he was worried about anymore.

Carol's in the middle of telling a (probably embarrassing) story about Chandler from college when the shit show begins.

"Chandler? Joey?" He sucks in a breath at the familiar voice. He can feel Joey stiffen up next to him but neither of them make any effort to move. "Wait— Carol and Susan? What's going on here?"

Chandler curses under his breath and looks up to see Ross staring with open mouthed shock at the scene in front of him. Rachel's next to him, making a feeble effort to pull him away.

"Hey Ross," He sighs, "Fancy seeing you here."

"What are you doing eating dinner with my _ex-wife_?" Ross demands, crossing his arms like a stubborn child while Rachel pleads with him to not a make a scene.

"We're friends," He states with a shrug because he figures the truth possibly couldn't make this situation any worse. Ross raises a questioning eyebrow.

"Okay, let's just say that's true for now. That doesn't explain why's Joey here though."

Chandler swallows nervously and opens his mouth to try and answer but Joey's faster.

"We're on a date."

Silence.

Horrible, awkward, uncomfortable silence fills the table as Ross gapes mutely at them.

"Me and Chandler are on a double date with Carol and Susan," Joey speaks so confidently and Chandler didn't think it was possible but he's falling even harder for him now.

"You and _Chandler_ are on a date?" Ross puts heavy emphasis on Chandler's name and he tries not to be offended at what that insinuates but it's a little difficult.

"Ross, calm down," Rachel snaps, tugging at his arm. "It's not a big deal."

"Did you know about this?"

"About the double date? No. About Chandler and Joey dating, yeah— Me, Monica and Phoebe know," She admits, uncomfortably. "It's really not that big of a deal though, you need to calm down."

Ross takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a minute. Joey grasps Chandler's (unbelievably sweaty) hand under the table and squeezes it tightly.

When Ross opens his eyes again, he seems significantly calmer and even if he's faking it, it helps Chandler relax a little bit.

"Sorry, this is just… a little weird for me," He admits, rubbing the back of his neck. "Seeing you two on a date with Carol and Susan."

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm not too thrilled with this situation either," Chandler weakly jokes. "I'm sorry we didn't tell you earlier though. We wanted to but we just didn't know how well you'd take it. You're obviously doing great though, so I don't know what we were worrying about…!" He trails off, laughing uncomfortably until Joey jams his elbow into his side, effectively shutting him up.

"I think I just need some time to… process this," Ross rubs his temples "Can we talk about this later?"

"Y-Yeah! Later is good! We can talk later!" Chandler says, almost too quickly.

The dreaded silence is back.

"We're just gonna… go," Rachel says with an uncomfortable smile. She takes Ross' hand and gently pulls him away from the table.

"Wait—Ross!" Ross sighs with his entire body before glancing at Chandler over his shoulder. "Are we still cool?" Ross stares at him for a while and Chandler holds his breath the entire time. Ross eventually shakes his head with a soft chuckle.

"Yeah man, we're still cool. But uh— Me and Rach have our own date to get to so we'll just, y'know…"

"Yeah sure, see ya, Ross."

They wait until Ross and Rachel walk away to get a table for themselves before turning back to Carol and Susan but the light comfortable air is gone and it's replaced with heavy tension.

They eat in that horrible silence for a while before Joey clears his throat with a mischievous grin.

"Hey Carol, how does that story you were telling earlier end? The one where Chandler tried crowd surfing at a concert."

Carol smiles and continues the story where she left off. The tension slowly fades as they laugh about all the dumb things he did in college and the awkward encounter from before is all but forgotten.

…

"That could've gone better," Chandler says that night after they've gone home. Joey rolls over in bed to face him.

"Could've gone a hell of a lot worse too," He whispers, pulling Chandler's body closer to his.

"We have to talk to Ross about this tomorrow," Chandler whispers, burying his face in Joey's chest. "I can't believe he found out this way, what if he's mad at us or—"

"Chandler, stop talking. I don't wanna talk about Ross while we're laying in bed together."

"Fair point," He shuts up finally and they lay in comfortable silence. After a few minutes, Chandler's almost asleep when Joey whispers a quiet goodnight.

"Night Joe," Chandler mumbles back sleepily.

"I love you, Chandler."

…

"I love you too."

…


End file.
